I’ve been thinking about something from the past for a week now because I’ve been having positive dreams about it. In my dream, there was hope…the hope of living with this past…this person once again.
I thought of forgiving wholeheartedly and sending a message of love. I wanted to reconnect with this person. I thought of my dream and I told myself that it may be a sign that I should try and see if I could bring back the happiness I had then.
I prayed for it and got my answer yesterday. It was supposed to be a regular day until an old friend approached me and told me things about my past. Then I realized that reconnecting with this person is no longer possible. In other words: it’s over. …or it has been over for quite some time now only I didn’t want to accept it.
I broke down in tears when it hit me that I could no longer relive what I had then. My friend Gino saw me and tried to console me. I was not expecting him to make me feel better but he reminded me that I have still so much to live for.
What he said didn’t sink in until I went home today.
As I walked out of my office building and headed towards the street, I noticed the number of people who walked past me. I didn’t know who they were but observing them…this endless number of human beings walking, talking and laughing made me realize that the world indeed doesn’t end with just one person leaving.
This is what’s exciting about life…you can never tell whom you’re going to meet or who’ll come knocking on your door. And the fact that there are so many human beings in the world only tells you that you’re not going to run out of friends…..or even lovers.
And there’s of course, the dream…the continuous dream to reach the places I haven’t been to. And this is what’s keeping me so alive today…the prospect of fulfilling this dream.
Life is never fair, but I guess I just have to move on because, as Gino said, I have so much to live for.
So I’m saying goodbye to my past now…let’s look towards the future, shall we?